Confessions of a Motorcycle Whore
(circa 2001)
The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.
My name is Paul, and I am a motorcycle whore. I have come to realize for the past year and a half, I have been willing to ride just about anything. It was never about love or friendship, it never mattered if the bike was my type or not, hell, I was never even attracted to any of my last five motorcycles. I just wanted to ride them. It didn’t matter if I hurt any of them in the process; every bike I got on was ridden hard, and put away wet. As soon as I was finished with the bike, it was abandoned like a worn out sock. I used them for my own pleasure, then discarded them. Not once did I ever think about or miss the ones from my past. I never cared about any of them.
The good news is I am in therapy, and I am slowly recovering.
I am starting to care about a motorcycle again, not just the physical act of riding. I was advised if I truly wanted to recover, I would have to search out and find a motorcycle I could really care about.
I bought a BMW R1100RT. I carefully spent the first few weeks getting to know the bike thoroughly, and we went on our first real date to the Feast in the East Rally. It was a little awkward, but by the end of the day I realized we had a lot in common.
I wanted to wait ‘til I was sure about this one, so I really held back. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment.
This past weekend, I rode in the Tobacco Road Rally, a 12 hour endurance event, and we consummated our relationship. It is so nice to be able to trust a machine again. I really love this bike! (I even washed it when I got home.)
Everything worked great. The bike was flawless, my route planning worked great, the ride was fun and challenging, and I enjoyed every minute.
Herbie Saint put on a top-notch event, and surprised us with the option to start three hours earlier then the 6:00am rally start. This gave us time to make the ferries to Okey-dokey Island where the big 10,000-point bonus was. It was clear to win; you had to take one of the ferries over. However, if you slept in ‘til 6:00, you received an additional 2,000-point bonus.
With the ferry schedules in hand we went to dinner. A few of the riders believed they could take the sleep bonus, make the early ferry and catch the other ferry back in a few minutes, in addition to getting the bonus on the island.
Checking my mapping program, I did not see it as possible. Instead, I planned a route that would be challenging, grabbing three of the top four bonuses, and traveling about 600 miles of mostly two lane roads. I also wanted to see Cape Hatteras and Okey-dokey Island.
About ten bikes left at 3:00am. Five of us stayed together for most of the ride, then two cut off. We made the ferry in plenty of time. On the ferry it was clear we were not all heading for the same bonuses. I said I was heading to Currituck Beach for the lighthouse bonus, then up to the Swamp and Virginia for a gas receipt. They didn’t think I would make it. They were going to hang around for the next ferry back, and score a big bonus for doing so. Two riders decided to take the same route with me, Bob Hinds on a Buell, and Ron McNary on a ST1100. Bob would follow us to the lighthouse, but did not think we were going to make it to Virginia in time. So after the Currituck Beach Lighthouse, Ron and I stepped up the pace a bit and wove ourselves through the afternoon blue-haired traffic on the island.
We ended up driving 20 miles into Virginia before we found a gas station, and we were behind my schedule by about half an hour.
I will say I am happy I removed the saddlebags the night before the start, as our ride to the finish was quite ‘spirited.’ I kept leaning over to whisper dirty talk into my bike’s ears, and it seemed to work! We arrived at the finish with two minutes to spare.
The riders who said it was possible to hit the two ferries back to back and sleep ‘til 6:00, did it. They won with traveling only 300 miles or so, and snagging only a couple of bonuses. Hats off to them. Ron and I tied for third, and I was extremely happy with that.
The motorcycle did everything I asked of it and did not complain one bit. I rode the 850-mile trek home in 12½ hours. It was cold! Temperatures dipped into the low 30’s in Pennsylvania, and was in the 20’s when I got home. The new Bill Mayer Saddle was a great improvement. I rode the bike hard, but I did not put it away wet. Washed and waxed is what I did, and even gave her a little peck on the headlight. I may even introduce her to my Mom. This one is a keeper.
Thanks Herbie for a great event, I will be back.
And to my new honey, I can’t wait to bump uglies with you again.
