Almost every man’s midlife crisis involves something fast and shiny or some other woman. I guess if my beginning a million mile journey to raise awareness about Multiple Sclerosis might be considered my midlife crisis, now would be the time to come clean about my other woman.
The fling with my other woman has been going on for eight years or so, and she is responsible for talking me out of calling the Endless Road Tour, “Lil’ PP’s Big Adventure.”
She also expressed concern about me posting a picture she had seen from the 2003 Ironbutt checkpoint, the one she calls, “Paul in Drag.” I’ve tried to explain the entire humorous story behind it, but not sure she really ever got it. So, I’ll try again.
A post was made to a discussion group about using cheap thrift store clothes on long trips, and just throwing them away after wearing then a few days, as space is very limited on motorcycles. I thought it was a great idea and got a bag filled with clothes for $5. I had posted pictures of the nasty, out of style, out of date, and out of this world clothes I had picked out, and thus began, “Paul Pelland’s Clothing Drive”, which led to riders from across the country sending me the worst outfits they could find for a buck or two from their local thrift stores. Donations were sent for about six months, all in fun, until the dare was made that I had to actually wear these outfits while riding the famous Ironbutt Rally! Of course, I wore them all, except the wedding gown! I have promised the other woman I will not repeat the clothing drive.
When I recently told the other woman I was “Coming out of the closet about MS,” she begged me not to print that either. I promised I would not, so please forget this paragraph please.
I joke and make light of lots of situations. However, embarking on this epic journey and making my MS public, is a serious change in my life. It also greatly effects others in my life in a much bigger way than I completely realized. When I first starting this project, I had my other woman read some of it, and she asked me to make sure I removed any mention or pictures of her on the website. She had no idea where this was going. She was afraid of what I might write or that her professional colleagues would find out about us, or that her career might be compromised by my silly, adolescent, stupid humor that leaks out at times. Who can blame her? Not me, I already know I’m an idiot! I agreed, and took the photos out and any mention of her name.
Three or four weeks later, I asked her to proof read something, and she was for the first time seeing that this idea had evolved from a dream to a reality, with dates of events and a clearly defined mission and business plan. This was not another dumb idea like my non-stick tape (Patent Perpetually Pending) invention. She was a bit startled.
So, I now am compelled to tell you a little bit more about this other woman. To respect her wishes and protect her privacy, I shall simply call her “E” (“e” for short)
Let’s put this into perspective. Let’s say you came home one day, threw the bills from the mailbox onto the kitchen table, patted the dog, and declared what probably must have sounded something close to this;
“Hey, how was your day? I am going to quit my job, get a couple more motorcycles, tons of expensive toys, maybe get some leather ass-less chaps, and I am just going to ride around the country aimlessly, hanging out, telling jokes and stories, drinking beer, and….. I don’t know if we will be able to keep our house. Oh, and I don’t know when you will ever see me, but don’t worry, I’m not leaving you, and we will be just fine. So, how do feel about all this?”
I think it took a day or two, a week maybe, or actually the month of June, before she was able to come to grips with what I was about to begin, and why I had to do it. She finally realized this is so important to me, and that if I am willing to risk so much, that she is willing to risk it with me. She is behind me, she supports me, and she has been unbelievable throughout this monumental change and new direction of our entire future.
The risks and possibilities of what can happen, living my life in public, days and nights on the road, away from her and home. There is the fear of me riding a million miles alone, the fear of MS and what the tour may do to my health, the fear of inattentive drivers in cars, and the deer that can’t read the signs as to where they are supposed to cross. Our financial future, retirement, home, savings, and expenses were all tossed into the air. There is so much that she could and should be angry with me for, but unbelievably, she is not. I know she is worried, I know she is scared, but she believes in me, and what I am attempting to do. I could not do this without her support, and I could not do this without her love. I would walk away from 25 years of being with the other, other woman, if “E” asked me to do so. I am the luckiest man alive to have such an understanding person, friend, and lover in my life. So, because without this wonderful woman, The Endless Road Tour would not be possible, I have decided to dedicate the first 100,000 miles to her, my lovely “E”.
I love you “E”, more and more every day that we are together, and knowing you may never fully understand the drive I have to do this, you still support and believe in me, and you have shown me the true meaning of unconditional love. You are my main support, you are awesome, and although I do spend a lot of time with you-know-who, I will always return home to you!
Thank you!
Of course the other woman in this motorcycle journey is my beautiful, wonderful, understanding wife!
