New Hampshire to Bike Week in Daytona, by way of Dallas

I wanted to call this post, Frozen Nipples and Fried Testicles, but decided against it. For the past few years, I have braved mother nature and made the migration south from New Hampshire to Daytona for Bike week. Well, mostly to attend the Iron Butt annual gathering in Jacksonville to break bread and tell lies to 300 other long distance riders.

 

 

When I got the call in February inviting me to give a talk at a national sales meeting the same week, I replied, “Absolutely yes. Where?”

“Dallas.”

“The one in Texas?”

No problem. It was 2000 miles to Dallas, another 1100 or so to Jacksonville, and then 1200 miles home. Not a bad catch towards my million mile goal, and besides the three feet of snow in my yard, the 6″ of snow forecasted for Dallas and the giant storm travelling the entire country east; my real issue was locating some decent beef jerky.

(Jerky Sponsorship needed here)

 

 

I will admit I tried not to look at the forcast 48 hours before leaving. I wasn’t changing plans and I don’t own a trailer or truck. The entire trip was at risk, and I didn’t have a good contingency plan.

It was cold when I left home and the temperature continued to drop for the first 300 miles, but I was able to get out of Dodge, and on time.

 

 

My first night was spent at a friend’s just outside of Raleigh, North Carolina. With the promise of  ribs smoked all day long and a dozen home brews to choose from, it was clearly better than any 5 star hotel. It turned into a neighborhood cook out! It was a little warmer in North Carolina, about 50 degrees.

 

 

An early morning came fast and off I went,  heading west now, but again with the temperture dropping the more I rode. The day started at 5:00 am, with the temperatures around 40 degrees, and within an hour floating about freezing.  It never went above 42 degrees all day and riding through the Smokey Mountains was quite interesting as one lane was entirely covered in ice. Stuck behind the 18 wheelers at 20 mph, I had no place safe to pass. I finally made it to Memphis where Hotel Tonight and Apple Pay had effortlessly booked me a room for a decent amount. It drizzled the last 50 miles and I was cold!

 

All I wanted was a warm shower, a beer and some famous Memphis BBQ. I parked the bike for the night and eventually took a shuttle bus to Central BBQ to enjoy some pulled pork. It was sitting in the restaurant when I realized something was wrong with the camera of my new Iphone 6+, it would not focus anymore and all my pictures were fuzzy. Lucky for me, the phone has a pretty decent front facing camera.

Unlucky for you, the rest of my trip’s photos all had to be selfies!

 

 

The next day’s ride from Memphis to Dallas was cold and torrental rain. When I arrived at the plush hotel, I parked in the garage, unpacked and waddled my way to the front desk. The attendees were unaware an MS patient would be presenting at their conference and my talk was to be used to inspire them after the first long day of training.

The stream of water trailing me was impossible to hide, and dressed in full riding gear, I was leaking all over the marble floor. It would have been more  embarrassing if I wasn’t so cold and tired. I certainly looked out of place amongst the smartly dressed guests and I whispered my name to the reservation clerk, as if I were at the pharmacy retrieving my prescription for head lice.  I knew once I could unload and clean up, the identity of the weary and wet vagabond would remain my little secret.

 

 

Welcome to a hot shower, $4 for a water and pay TV. The room was very, very nice, had a great view and a decent glove dryer. I laid all my gear out across the room, it was all soaked!

 

 

A few hours after my arrival, I was scheduled for a rehearsal for my talk, and was quite amazed when I opened the ballroom doors, and how much effort was put into my introduction and the background behind the stage. I had never presented to a crowd of this magnitude before, there were going to be close to 1000 attendees! I reworked my talk multiple times over the next 24 hours, rehearsed it a dozen times and practiced with the new teleprompter App I had just put on my Ipad. It would scroll my speech at a predetermined speed, and I could control it with a wi-fi clicker device from Airturn. It was a trusting experiment, as if it crashed or messed up, I was stuck looking like an idiot.

I wanted my positive message to be powerful, funny and memorable, while explaining how truly grateful I am for what they do, after all, after 10 years since my diagnosis, my disease had not progressed. Because of changes I made in my life, I was healthy and happier than before getting MS.  I was following my passion, made possible because of advances in MS medications. I also believe we soon will find the cause of Multiple Sclerosis, learn to repair the damage, and eventually find the cure. So what these people do every day is personal, and important.

It worked!

My talk was well accepted, and I don’t remember paying for a single drink the rest of the evening!

 

 

Things felt a little weird back in my room, glad I wasn’t driving.

 

 

 

The next morning I took off, it was bit warmer with finally seeing the sun.  Most of my gear had dried out. I wanted to travel the Texas panhandle and stay in Panama City, but evertime I tried to ride the coastal route, it started to rain, drizzle or I got stuck in traffic. I ditched that idea and called the hotel where the Iron Butt party was being held to see if I could arrive a day earlier than my reservation. I was assured they had a room for me and drove the entire 1100 miles to Jacksonville. I arrived quite spent, but a warm shower and a dry bed fixed that.

The next morning I decided to head to Daytona where all the action was. I promised my friends at Twisted Throttle I would stop by, and always visit with my friends who run demos rides for Yamaha. In all the planning and packing at home, I had completely forgotten Florida was warm, and was soon overcome with the noon heat. Thanks to Kevin at Twisted Throttle, I was escorted into an air conditioned trailer to recuperate. I really wished I had brought my CTC-100 cooling system. How stupid was I?

 

 

 

 

After escaping from the heat attack I experienced at the race track, Siri located an Apple store so I could see if they could fix my cellphone camera. I entered one of only two locations in Florida (at least that’s what they told me why the wait was 4 weeks for an appointment) and soon realized it had been a wasted  side trip.

Sorry, but the selfies in this post will have to continue.

On Thursday evening I was invited to join some New England friends for dinner in Jacksonville at a place called Clark’s Fish Camp. We called for a large cab, and got a ride in an Escalade. Must have been a new driver, because on our return trip we got involved in a YouTube video trying to turn around in the parking lot. Not a scratch on the vehicle during the 32 point turn!

I must say, Clark’s was a very interesting place, I tried some new things and met some interesting creatures. I love restaurants with visual menus. Take your time checking out the pictures, it was quite the place, and I can’t wait to go back next year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did I mention I tried something new? It wasn’t mayonnaise.

Check out this page of the menu. I could have ordered a Llama wrap but decided to go completely nuts.

 

 

Something told me I just had to order the local brew.

But the appetizer I ordered, that was all me.

 

 

 

I have to say, just between you and me, the Bison Balls were absolutely tasty!

 

 

 

 

Friday evening was the IBA banquet, great food, fun discussions and a chance to see old friends. I handed out lots of flyers for my two fundraisers.

 

 

After a week on the road, It unfortunately was also time for the reality check, thinking about the route for home, and someone always has to spoil dessert with the weather forecast.

 

 

 

 

 

For me and a few others from the New England area, we were getting snow, late Saturday and into Sunday. This was a problem. We decided to start early Saturday morning and try to make New Hampshire before the snow.

Racing Mother Nature can be tricky. It was very close.

 

 

 

 

It was one of the wettest rides ever, but thanks to two good friends, we made it home safe, 22 hours and 1200 miles.

Daytona by way of Dallas was not a bad start to the riding season, and with 2 feet of snow still on the ground at home, I do know how lucky I am to ride almost every day.

Because of the folks I met in Dallas, I am starting to receive invitations to share my story with others across the country. I am looking at a very busy next couple of months, raising awareness and funds while encouraging others with challenges in life to continue following their passions as well.

Sometimes when life seems overwhelming and tough, we all need a little reminder to embrace challenges, to take the Bison by the horn or the balls, and to never stop chasing those dreams.

– Longhaulpaul

 

If you made it this far, Please remember to share or like!

 

 

NOCAR

As seen in the February edition of ABILITY Magazine 

 

WHY, you ask?
Why do I I ride in the pouring rain?
Why do I ride into the black of night?
Why do I ride in the bitter cold of winter?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My motorcycle license plate reads NOCAR and here is why I ride my motorcycle every day.

40 years ago, I had the opportunity to have my palm read by one of the most famous fortune tellers in the world; at the midway of a county fair. After paying him 3 ride tickets, he hooked me by miraculously knowing someone in my life was named Mom. For an additional 3 ride tickets, he was able to inform me my future might involve living happily ever after or end in a fiery automobile crash. I opted for the happily ever after, and I have tried to stay away from cars ever since.

 

Riding a motorcycle makes me feel alive, and refreshes my spirit. After almost 30 years on two wheels, it still never gets old. We all need an activity in our busy lives that will do this. Skiing, running, surfing, painting sunsets or even knitting might do it for you. The trick is to find something you can be passionate about and make it an important regular activity in your life. You deserve it!

When I ride, I do not have Multiple Sclerosis. Even the thought of my disease melts away along with my symptoms and all the rest of my life’s junk almost instantly, freeing me, leaving me carefree and in the wind!

 

 

Take today, a dreary cold January morning for instance. I’d bet a million dollars I felt more alive and refreshed when I arrived to work today than all the other commuters in my state combined! With no hint of bad weather or road conditions from the TV, I grabbed my boots, heated jacket and gloves. With a kiss from my understanding wife and a smile under my helmet, I rode off. I have a handful of routes to work I can pick from, but today I took 40 miles of scenic hills and curves.

About 30 miles into my ride, I began to notice the roadway was no longer salt crusted or dry. The heavily treed state park road I was traveling on hadn’t dried out from yesterday’s rain shower like the rest. The asphalt was glistening and the dry tracks where tires helped expose the pavement, slowly got thinner and thinner until there were none. It would not have been any issue at all, if the temperature was not 21 degrees. I was riding myself into the midst of another surprise adventure.

I concentrated on smooth moves, managing throttle and brakes with an ever so gentle touch. I tried not to lean the bike at all. I did not tense up or panic, but I was curious how the situation would pan out.
Road traffic has started to materialize, which was a big red flag, as I seldom encountered any cars on this road. We all slowed down to about 10 mph, just about the time flashing headlights were signaling from the opposite direction. The cars ahead of us were stopped, and some up ahead were actually turning around.

Cars had slid off the road ahead, and emergency lights from a tow truck and police car were visible through the leafless trees. As I came to a slow and calculated stop on the incline of a hill, I touched my tippy-toes down on each side of the bike, immediately confirming that it was indeed sheer ice I had been balancing on for the last few miles. I held my breath, trusting the brakes and my faithful Bridgestone tires would keep me from sliding about in impossible directions. I wasn’t worried or scared, just not sure what I could do in this predicament.

It was a narrow country road with a high crown and no shoulder. The cars ahead were slowly making four or five point u-turns. There was no way I could reverse direction without surely dropping my 700 pound bike repeatedly on the ice. I could read, “Are you an Idiot?” on every set of lips shielded by safety glass as the cars ahead retreated.

In a brief rare moment, the smile left my face and I wished I owned a bike with a seat height that wasn’t three inches taller than my leg length so I could have at least drag my feet like pontoons. (Notice, I didn’t go so far as to wish I borrowed my wife’s car this morning)

I waited a few minutes on the edge of the road, and a few cars behind me did the same. A tow truck was pulling a car out of the brush and blocking the way ahead. We could not go forward, and I was not going to attempt to go back. Although I would be very late to work, I knew in a few hours the temperature would rise enough to melt the thin black ice. A man in a white Ford truck rolled down his window as he passed and gave me two big thumbs up. Obviously, he was a rider; albeit a smarter rider.

It was just a few minutes, but the solution to this morning’s adventurous dilemma appeared like an Apache helicopter loudly rising over the horizon. A 10-wheel DOT sanding truck approached from the other direction. It was a joy to be saved; baptized if you will, with a wonderful splatter of rock salt, sand and brine. As my rescuer passed me, he rolled down his window and yelled down to me, “Be careful buddy, it’s all ice ahead!”

Traffic began to move forward after the second car was towed away. My GPS confirmed it was only about a mile until the safety of the dry and treated main road, so I turned off the bike’s traction control which allowed me to move on the ice, held my breath and continued slowly over the hill and around the bend.

 

 

There were no reporters, congratulatory crowds, cheers or clapping when I reached my office parking lot and dismounted my trusty steed this morning, but it did take me over an hour to stop giggling and I am still unable to wipe the smirk off my face.

Not every day’s commute is like this, but mornings like this make me feel excited to be alive and truly grateful I get to experience such an invigorating, life-lifting, skill-mastering achievement, just trying to get to work! No matter what else I do today, I can already declare this a most excellent and successful day.

Why on earth would I ever want to commute by car?

 

Longhaulpaul

 

 

“Excuse me. Did you say a minute ago that the hotel was busy because of tomorrow’s Cremation Convention?”

 

Although it had already been a long day with sharing my inspirational story at a luncheon and a dinner 200 miles apart, after 20 minutes of indecisive hemming and hawing, I had turned in my room key. Multiple Sclerosis can affect a person’s ability to make decisions, and this effect on the executive functioning area of the brain has been part of the cognitive symptoms I have been plagued with for almost a decade. It is one of the big reasons I can no longer be competitive in motorcycle endurance competitions, and also the reason I sometimes am  unable to make  simple selections off a dinner menu.

 

On this night however, after discussing it with my wife on the phone, I had finally made up my mind to travel home instead of staying the night.  I needed to be at work at 8:00 am regardless, and work was 200 miles away. If the Tuesday night traffic Gods were doing a good job directing, I would be crawling into my own bed next to my best friend, just before midnight.

 

Moments later, while putting my gear into the saddlebag of my motorcycle, I had second thoughts;  for the third  time.

 

I was justifiably tired, I had a hotel room already paid for, and I could really use an ice cold beer.

My decision to stay had nothing to do with the 30 years of suppressed juvenile puns and jokes that were already consuming my disease riddled head regarding what the front desk clerk had just revealed. These people were all here for a Cremation Convention?

Seriously?

 

 

I had legitimate burning questions that urned for answers and staying the night at the hotel also became a perfect accidental distraction.

 

Three hours earlier, on my way from speaking in Boston to the gig in Albany, one of my sisters had called into my helmet headset and informed me my Dad had been taken to the hospital by ambulance after falling and becoming disorientated early that morning. Apparently this was the second time it happened.  Doctors were doing tests and would watch him overnight. They did say it did not look like his multi-mended heart was the issue this go-around.

Instead of worrying about him for three long hours on the freeway ride home, I opted for the noisy packed bar and some pent-up childish humor.

 

 

 

I was able to get my room key back and considering the newly discovered circumstances, I double checked with the clerk that I indeed was in a “non-smoking” room.

I was not taking any chances with this crowd.

The hotel bar seemed packed for a Tuesday and I squeezed into the only open stool.

 

“I could use a stiff drink, I’m dead tired”, I proclaimed. “Can you make a Fireball?

“Man, these boots are killing me. I am dying to get them off.”

 

I was on a roll.

 

The young guy to my right smirked and said,

“you must be one of us ash holes.”

 

I pretended I was gravely offended,

“Just what the hell are you incinerating there, dude?

 

He apologized when he realized I was not one of them, and told me about the conference.  I soon confessed I already knew and bought a round of beers.

 

I was glad I decided to stay.  I never would have forgiven myself if I had ridden home without first hanging out with this group of afterburners.

 

It was quite an interesting evening, a lively group and good conversation. Turns out they don’t all live alone upstairs from the funeral parlor or drive Buicks. The two guys I chatted with were in a band, ran marathons and we swapped phones, showing pictures of families and pets.

Bits and pieces of memories (which is the most I can expect these days) of a junior high school summer job working at the cemetery surfaced, and we connected on yet another level.

They were fascinated to hear of my quest to ride a million miles raising awareness for MS. I was able to clear up their questions about Multiple Sclerosis and give some helpful information and resources to relay to a friend of theirs who was just diagnosed and completely devastated by the diagnosis.

 

My decision not to drive home might have been juvenile, but morphed into a worthwhile and meaningful detour. There seems to be a reason for all that happens in my life, even the little things. In addition to sharing my story to MS patients at lunch and dinner, knowing I also had delivered a bit of hope and straightened out some misconceptions about MS helps fuel my mission and determination to continue my awareness campaign.  I gained a few more followers of my blog, and I quenched my thirst!

 

Before I left the bar my new friend hand wrote a partially alcohol induced coupon for 30% off any funeral services.

 

As I looked at the coupon, I was pretty sure it would not make it to the prize bag for the 2015 MS5000 motorcycle fundraiser, but the thought and gesture was appreciated.

 

After executing the second phase of a blink, it was quarter-to-five the next morning.  With a routine practiced over 50 times this year, I was ready and out of the parking lot in 15 minutes.  Although I try to book hotels with free breakfast, I always end up leaving well before the cooks arrive!

 

I rode on back roads all the way to Concord New Hampshire; unfortunately for the first two and a half hours the most excellent newly paved twisty roads were only visible through my Garmin because of the rain, darkness and thick fog. With the zoom scale set to one inch equals one inch,  I rode to work at or below the posted speed limit. As the sun came up and burned away the fog, I eventually was able to stop and snap a couple of classic photos of autumn in New England.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I used to say I wanted my body donated to either science or the circus when I died, but now, I think I might want my ashes cryogenically frozen, just in case they find a cure for old age. 

 

I called my Mom later for the update on my Father. The doctors did not find anything seriously wrong, so it looks like Dad will be ok and heading home.

 

My decision to leave the coupon at the bar the night before was easy to make,

and was not by accident.

 

 

Cheers!
Longhaulpaul

 

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